It was way early in the morning and we were fucking with Kilroy. You may remember Kilroy del Dancefighter Estallion the Third from when I fired his ass unceremoniously from the Injun for suggesting that my output was lacking and that he had to pick up the slack. That’s just something you don’t tell the editor, motherfucker.
I had a few things to tell Kilroy. “You suck at time shadows,” I half-croaked. After all the coffee, and cigarettes, and yelling things at people, my usually impressive voice was taxed and totally punk rock. “Look, he’s sad, you fucked it up.”
“Stop failing!” shouts another friend, as Kilroy misses the puzzle piece again. I started to think that Kilroy wasn’t as much of a time travel understander as I previously thought, and decided to drag my laptop outside so I could smoke.
On the way out, I heard Kilroy say “I’m going to make this jump just to spite you guys,” followed by more screeches from the peanut gallery.
Outside was cold and colder, thanks to the constant wind that goes through the city. I sat on the yellow scooter just outside the shop, one bought for transportation that found more utility as a place to sit and smoke. Or in my case, a place to sit and smoke and write.
We spent the entire day at our home away from home, a little place on the far eastern side of the city known as Game On!, exclamation point and everything. I’m not exactly good at sitting still, and Game On! is one of the few places in town that I could actually do so for more than a few hours. We were on hour nine or so, which is extraordinary, mind-blowing, and typically Saturday behavior.
I looked through the window and watched Kilroy deftly manuever through a puzzle that I once saw him trip up on for over an hour. As he tripped up on the boss in the next level, the manager of the store yelled something I couldn’t quite hear. I wanted to, though, and I was done typing anyway, so I stomped out my cigarette butt and headed back in.
I’ve been off the gaming beat lately, folks. Yesterday marked the first time in a little while that I could actually dedicate some time to it. It’s not that I haven’t tried, it’s just that my usual raging boner for video games seems to have gone, err, soft. Seriously, this has never happened to me before, not in the nineteen years I can remember hating Bugs Bunny’s Birthday Blowout.
It’s been a nice break, though; not gaming has made me really appreciate the times I get to toss my hat in and wreck shit. I played the Brutal Legend* demo that night, and elevated its status from ‘probably one of the best games ever’ to ‘probably the most fucking important thing to ever happen to humanity, and yes I’m including the invention of the nuclear missile’. I also got to watch some people fool around on Scribblenauts, which is a joy for someone so in love with words as myself.
(the best part of that one was when mothman ended up driving an anti-air vehicle around and shooting indiscriminately at the player)
So, in the terms of cutting-edge games journalism**, I’m down but not out. I’ll be sure to sound the sirens if anything important happens, but for now I’m out living like a goddamn alive motherfucker.
*umlauts omitted on account of a raid by the Umlaut Police
**something that has never been, and never will be done on the Injun
Infinity Injun no Chousenjou 